


Maternal Bonds, a Steven Universe fanfic

by LordKaiserthe1st



Series: Rose Redemption AU [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Post-Episode s05e29-32 Change Your Mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 16:25:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16836259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordKaiserthe1st/pseuds/LordKaiserthe1st





	Maternal Bonds, a Steven Universe fanfic

It was a calm summer afternoon at the Temple, the humidity quelled by a gentle breeze. The sea was calm, and from a distance, seemingly motionless. The water almost perfectly reflecting the cloudless sky above. Within the Temple, a large fold up table and chairs were arranged in the center of the house, the coffee table pushed up against the couch to make room. All had been done upon Steven’s request, as he was eager to introduce his mother to Connie’s parents. They had all agreed to order Pizza. Once everybody had agreed on toppings, Steven fetched his smart tablet. Not long after, his mother’s face appeared on the screen. “Oh my goodness! You must be Connie’s parents! Steven was talking about this all day!” Rose said, her excitement catching the Maheswaran family off guard.

“Oh! So you must be Steven’s mother?” asked Priyanka, Connie’s mother, “I had hoped to finally be doing this sooner.” Rose smiled, eager to introduce herself, “Yes, I’m Steven’s mother, my son is very fond of your child!” Priyanka coughed nervously as Doug shot a glare at Steven who looked away in embarrassment, “Mom, you can’t just say that out loud!” Steven groaned. Connie giggled, as she took amusement from Steven’s flustered state. 

Priyanka cleared her throat, thinking of a way to change the subject, “You know, for the longest time, I never thought this would even be possible. The way Connie and everyone was talking about you, they made seem like you were… uh…” she suddenly realized she was doing little to ease the tension as she put her foot in her mouth.

“I understand.” Rose said, trying to reassure them that she took no offence, “For the longest time I was dormant within Steven’s gem. Able to observe and nothing else, and it was only with the help of Bismuth that I can be here to speak to you all.”

“I see. I’m sure Steven is happy to finally be with you.” Stated Doug, Connie’s father. Rose grinned in response, “Oh yes! I’m very happy to finally be with my precious baby!” Steven blushed at her remark as she continued, “I’m so proud of the young man he’s growing up to be! I never dreamed of him achieving everything he’s done! And of course, your daughter has been an amazing companion to help him mature along the way!”

This time, it was Connie's turn to have her face turn red, flattered by Rose’s words, “Thank you, Mrs. Universe.” 

“So, I’m guessing this is your first time with your son? I’m sure you’re learning much as a first time parent?” asked Priyanka. “Oh, well, yes. Gems don’t reproduce like humans do. I was the first one to do anything like this. It has been such a rewarding experience for me!” Rose said excitedly.

“Is that so? It seems you have the enthusiasm for this job, that’s good.” Doug said, “I know we would do anything for our Connie. I remember when she was younger, whenever she would have a bad dream, she would come to us until she calmed down. And I or Priyanka are always willing to make time for her if she ever got hurt or sick.” Rose smiled, she could relate to what Doug’s words. 

But soon, she found her joy begin to wane, “I… I sadly cannot do such things, I long surrendered my physical form to give my child life, I’m afraid this is all I can do for my son…” she tried to look unfazed, but Doug quickly realized he had upset Rose with his words.

“Sorry, I didn’t think about that…” Doug quickly tried to apologize. Priyanka fidgeted with her hands as Doug looked to the side. Greg finally broke the silence as he entered the room with the Pizza they had ordered. “Who’s ready to enjoy some pizza?” He said excitedly, he could immediately sense the tension in the room. “Hey, everyone alright?”

“It’s ok, Mr. Universe.” Connie said, “My parents are just getting to know Steven’s mom a little more and are… just trying to cross a few hurdles.”

Greg sighed, “It hasn’t always been easy, for so long, I thought she was gone forever, but I am more than eager to make up for lost time, right honey?” Rose could tell Greg was trying his best to lighten the mood, and didn’t wish to mention her prior conversation. “Yes, I’m just happy I can finally tell our son how much I love him!” Steven smiled, though slightly embarrassed, the sentiment was not lost to him, “I love you too, Mom.”

Dinner went more smoothly. Greg’s natural charm helped to keep everyone’s spirits high. As time passed, almost without warning, the sun began to set as the sky began to change from blue to orange. Connie and her family thanked Steven for their time as they readied to depart before the sun could fully set. 

Rose’s thoughts once again drifted to the words of Connie’s father, about how they wanted to be good parents for their child. She was worried about what this meant, was she unable to be a better mother because of her limitations? Would there always be some layer of anonymity toward her and Steven? Greg was preparing to leave as well, stating that he needed to be close to the car wash the following morning to take advantage of the business he would get from tourists visiting during the summer months. As he was cleaning up after dinner, Rose wished to speak to him. Greg’s intuition clued him in that something was troubling Rose.

“Rose, you look a little down, are you sure you’re ok? You’ve been like this since I got back.” Greg said, as he began folding the table and chairs he and Steven laid out earlier. “Greg… am I a… good mother?” Rose asked, careful in wording her question. Greg was unsure how to respond to her question, “Rose, you can’t be angry with yourself forever over what happened in the past, you’ll never get better if you keep beating yourself up.”

“I know that, this isn’t about what I’ve done, so much as what I’m doing.” Rose responded, hoping Greg would better understand her plight. Greg finished folding the last of the chairs, as he tried to think of what to say next. “Rose, I’m sure there are some days where that screen must feel like a prison, but you need to believe that even through something as little as this that it still means the world to all of us. We are very thankful to be able to share new memories with you. You know we both made sacrifices throughout our lives to be here. And you made the biggest sacrifice to bring our son into the world, I know you’re proud of that.”

Rose’s smiled, her thoughts more at ease, “Thank you Greg, I feel a little better, will I see you tomorrow?” Greg shook his head, “Nah, I’ll be pretty busy this whole weekend, I might even be a little jealous, what with you having Steven to yourself. Don’t have too much fun now!”

Rose chuckled, but in the back of her mind, her thoughts started to cloud once more. Though Greg’s words were harmless, she still felt uncomfortable with how distant she still was from everyone.

The night had finally arrived in full force, Steven had wished his mother a good night, and her the same. But although her son had left his tablet inactive to charge all through the night, she could still perceive all that was around him, she could see Steven, curled up into his comforter, his phone beside him. It hummed with soothing music to aid in his rest, as his eyelids fluttered. 

Although she enjoyed the sight of her son sleeping so peacefully, her smile vanished when her thoughts trailed on as to why Steven needed such help to do so. She had long since apologized to Steven for the turmoil she had put him and his friends through, but she knew there was no taking back what she had left her son with. 

The only thing that Rose could think of to help him was try to comfort Steven. She had seen humans comfort their children over the thousands of years she had lived on Earth. Despite her knowing the futility of it, she bent down on one knee, stretching her arms out to embrace her son, and as she did so, her arms phased through. 

Rose’s eyes began to water. She turned away from Steven’s bed, placing her head between her knees, her hands over her head as she began to break down. She loved Steven. She wanted to be there for him, to really truly be there. She didn’t just want to tell her son she loved him, she wanted to hug him and hold him close like Greg and the other Gems could. She wanted to comfort him when he was hurt. To protect him, be it from her own past mistakes or from some new previously unseen threat. And when he was sad, she wanted to comfort him and make him happy. She wanted to be there to show him the full scale of his power, to truly be there to see him grow. But she couldn’t, at least not really. 

She wanted to show Steven she was a good person, that she could be a great mother, but how could she ever do that through a screen? How could she ever truly be as close to her son as the other Gems? Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard the sound of Steven tossing and turning, as he murmured in discomfort. She knew what this was, Steven was having a nightmare. 

She had seen him have these before. But in the past, Pearl would watch him and try to ease him when this occurred. But now he was alone, leaving Rose little else to do as she stood there and watched her child try to escape his inner demons. She had tried to reach out to his mind in the past, but always it had been met with failure. At best only parting to Steven memories related to something of her past. 

She panicked, hoping her cries could somehow be heard, “Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl! Somebody help Steven, please!” But her cries rang hollow. Without a physical presence, she was forever forced to be a silent observer. She tried to focus, as if she could somehow compel them to Steven’s bedside. As she did, her surroundings began to fade away. She was encompassed by a yawning, black void, surrounded by nothing. She only thought of one thing, her desire to be there for Steven like the other Gems. A bright flash of light blinded her.

In moments, Rose’s vision began to clear as she arose from what felt like a deep slumber. As her senses came to, she scanned her new surroundings. Piles of miscellaneous objects were stacked atop one other, creating great ramshackle obelisks, as the ground beneath her feet was wet, the source made clear as she could hear the sound of running water to her right. Large geodes and crystalline structures littered every corner of the room, such beautiful chaos made Rose think of only one Gem. “This is Amethyst’s room.” Rose stated, covering her mouth with her hand, shocked by the course roughness of her voice. 

She knew something was not right. Quickly, she followed the sound of running water until she had found a small nook in Amethyst’s room where the water had pooled into a pond. Slowly, she approached the surface of the water to see her reflection, and found the face of the small Quartz staring back at her. She dashed away, ashamed from what this discovery was implying. 

“I’m in Amethyst’s body.” Rose quietly whispered to herself. “I shouldn’t be here, this isn’t right.” She kept telling herself, but in the back of her mind, she heard something different. ‘This might be my only chance.’ She shook her head, not matter how much she wanted to help Steven, this would be unforgivable. ‘Would he really notice? He and Amethyst are so close, so what if he thought it was her?’ She banged her head against a head-high pile of debris from a fallen junk tower, she tried ignoring her thoughts, she knew this would ruin whatever ties Rose had to the other Gems, she didn’t want them to be angry with her forever, they’d never let anything like this slip by. 

‘Wouldn’t Amethyst want to help Steven if she knew he needed it now? Would this be so out of line for her?’ She sat there for what felt like an eternity, as she tried to let her conflicting emotions simmer down, but the more she tried, she felt them boil over. She had made her decision, she would do this once, for one night, and then never again. If she was careful, no one would be the wiser. 

Rose took a deep breath, as she made her way to the Temple door in Amethyst’s room and activated the Quartz gem to open it. She rushed as fast as she could to Steven’s bedside. His nightmare seemingly over, but his face was a clear sign that it still affected him as he continued to squirm.

‘It’s not a big deal, it’s not as though he’s in real danger.’ She told herself, ‘let’s just go before something happens.’ But the more she thought of it, the more she wanted to stay. ‘This may be my only chance.’ She took a deep breath, and began to focus her will on Amethyst’s gem. Her form disappearing in a flash of light as it warped and twisted. Finally, she resumed the familiar form of Rose Quartz once more. But here it was different. Although difficult to tell in the moonlight, Rose’s shades of pink were instead replaced with purple. Her hair was messier than before, the curls only showing in a tangled mess. Though rougher than she would have liked, she knew this was the best she could do.

‘This is so wrong.’ Rose thought, the sentence repeated in the back of her head, but she fought it, she knew there was no other way. She had thought about whether Steven would live forever or not, that if he would die, how would she live with herself knowing the only time she every got to hold her child would be when he would have long since passed on. ‘Just once, to help ease his mind, and mine.’

She carefully lifted Steven up from his bed, so as not to awaken him. She held him close to her while she tenderly cradled him in her arms and took a seat upon the edge of the bed. Steven shifted and twitched, still shaken from his dream. “Shhhh, it’s okay, Steven.” Rose whispered gently. Before long, Steven’s features relaxed as he slowly drifted peacefully back to sleep. Rose was giddy with excitement, this was her first time holding Steven! She grinned at the thought. ‘This won’t last’, she thought. Her smiled slowly faded away. ‘Was all this worth it? You using another gem, one you love and care for, all just for this? This was so incredibly selfish.’ She sighed, she knew this was wrong, she knew she had to leave before she was discovered.

Rose hugged Steven tight before delicately laying him down to bed once more, and tucked him in. Silently weeping at the thought that this would be the both the first and last time she would ever do this. She turned to leave, but before departing, kissed Steven’s forehead and wiped her eyes, “Goodnight Steven. I love you, sweetheart.”

As she turned to leave to Amethyst’s room, the light flickered on, as she stood up with a start. She turned to face temple door, meeting eyes with Garnet, her eyes obscured by her visor, but her killing stare unmistakable. 

“For Steven’s sake, I had better not be talking to who I think I’m talking to.” Garnet growled through gritted teeth, her outrage clear with her inflections. Rose attempted to think of something to say, “Garnet, please, I can explain, I…”

She could hear Steven’s sheets shift, she turned to see him awake, rubbing his eyes from the sudden onset of bright light illuminating the dark. “What’s going here? Amethyst, is that you?” Steven yawned, his vision still blurry.

“I thought my future vision was playing tricks on me when I saw this possibility! How could you do this, Rose!?” Garnet hollered, Rose only looking down in shame, knowing her fears of what would come of this had manifested. Steven’s response was just as swift. “What!? Mom!?” Rose turned back to face Steven, tears rolling down her face. Steven’s features began to warp with rage and disgust.

Rose had only seen her son truly angry a handful of times through his gem. She never imagined what it would have felt like to be on the receiving end of it until now. Despite not changing her form, Rose felt like she was beginning to shrink. Steven’s face grew red, “I can’t believe you would do this!” Rose tried to clear her throat before speaking, “Steven, please, I feel terrible about this, I…” Steven, in his anger, only shouted her down, “How do you think Amethyst must feel!? Just… argh!” Steven’s frustration clouded his mind, keeping him from properly forming words, as he stomped outside to vent. Rose’s resolve eventually gave out, as her consciousness left Amethyst’s body, before long, she had returned to the place where Bismuth had first discovered her. She dared not peak at what Steven was doing, she couldn’t bear to think of the horrible things he was saying much less hear it. She collapsed to her knees, as streams of tears flowed like raging rivers from her eyes.

*

The following day, she dared not try to call them, and she in turn ignored every attempt Steven made to call her. She was not ready to face him again, and she didn’t know what to say to the other gems, how could she even make it up to them? Amethyst especially. She knew this grief was brought on by herself, it was her fault. ‘He’ll never forgive you.’ She thought. ‘He has every right to hate you.’ She didn’t want to trouble the Diamonds with this, as she feared they would force them to make up, and it wouldn’t fix anything. ‘Neither is sitting here crying your eyes out.’ thought Rose. 

She pondered on who she could turn to for help, and sighed when she realized her only option. She turned to the floating tablet, a gift from Bismuth’s journey through Steven’s gem. She opened contacts, and tapped on Connie’s name.

The screen flickered and flashed, but before long, Connie appeared before her, a confused look on her face. “Oh, hey there, Mrs. Universe! Were you trying to call Steven?” Rose cringed, “No… Connie, I… I need your help, I have made a horrible mistake.” Connie’s curiosity drew her to Rose’s statement, “Rose, what happened? What did you do?”

Rose tried to say it, but she was so beside herself with grief and remorse. After a minute of indiscernible blubbering, she finally began to make sense once more. “I… I took over Amethyst’s body… to be with Steven…” Rose accepted there was simply no way of sugar coating this, she looked to see Connie’s reaction. The girl’s eyes were as wide as saucers, as she tried to find something to say in response, “That’s… wow, ok, I might need you to take a step back and explain this to me slowly.”

Rose explained in greater detail what had occurred that night, from her passive observation of Steven, to his nightmare. Of her desperation to reach out to the other gems and unintentionally connecting to Amethyst’s body. To using the opportunity to comfort Steven back to sleep before being discovered by Garnet and accosted by Steven. Connie all the while only sat and listened, only speaking up to ask questions. When Rose had finished, Connie took a deep breath to process what she had been told.

“I didn’t mean to do this to Amethyst.” Cried Rose, “I just wanted to be close to Steven, to be there like a real mother. Like your parents.” 

“I’m really sorry about all of that, ma’am, but it was still wrong.” Connie calmly stated, “And it sounds like they’ve been meaning to talk to you about it all day, you need to say something to them.”

Rose tried not to seem so worried, but her anxiety over facing her son’s anger rang clear through her voice, “I already know there’s nothing I can say to make it better. I tried so hard to be a better person. I’m a good person, I really am, and I do feel awful about this! But I could never make this up to Steven or Amethyst, not after this…”

Connie crossed her arms, “Rose, no matter how bad you may feel you need to talk to them about this! I know Steven, you do too! You know he would never hold a grudge! And Amethyst has really come a long way! You won’t fix anything if you say nothing to them.”

Rose pondered Connie’s words, still uneasy about facing Steven again, “Connie,” she said, “I should try to call Greg, maybe he could help keep him calm. Goodness knows I can’t do this myself” Connie sighed, “Steven’s dad is really busy this weekend, this might just stress him out. Look, I’ll come and help you. I know how much you both matter to one another, I’ll let my parents know I’m going to Steven’s house.”

“Thank you, Connie. I see why Steven thinks so highly of you.” Rose said with excitement, Connie trying hard to hide her blush. Before long, Connie had made the trek to Steven’s home, as the screen to Rose’s tablet lit up with a signal trying to connect a call. She did so, and was met with the faces of Connie, Steven, and the Crystal Gems. 

Garnet stared blankly as Rose, her indifference somehow more off putting than Amethyst’s barley contained disdain, while Pearl stood distraught, still struggling to look in her direction. Steven was the first to speak, “Hello, mom.” Rose cleared her throat, trying to remain calm under the stress of everything, “Hello, Steven.” She said turning her gaze to the small Quartz, “Amethyst, I’m so sorry, I never did any of this to hurt you.” Amethyst simply stood there, staring down at Rose, Steven and Connie moved away so that she could be the in the center of the screen, “Why?” she hissed, her eyes narrowing. 

Rose’s resolve began to buckle, as she tried to respond, “I… j-just wanted to be there for my son! I wanted to help him with a nightmare he had and I know you and the others would do the same, I wanted to be a good mother! I was so scared for my baby, it pained me to see him suffer while I could do nothing, and I couldn’t reach out to you any other way. I never tried to do this on purpose, I never even thought I was able to project myself like that since Steven was born.” she blurted, struggling to meet her gaze with Amethyst. 

Rose swallowed the knot in throat before continuing, “I thank Bismuth every day for giving me the chance to be with my son, but… you have it better, you can truly be there, not just speak to him through a screen. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t stand the thought of simply watching Steven’s life through here and never be there physically for him. I’ll admit it, you’re all better than me. I tried so hard to be what I wanted to be, but for you, it comes so naturally.”

Amethyst sighed, “It doesn’t, and you know that. I couldn’t even be the thing I was made to be. I don’t try to be someone else, I just try to be someone better. When you… did what you did… it was like you were violating that, that who I was didn’t matter to you as much as what you wanted from me. Look, I don’t want to stay mad forever, I want this to blow over, because I know Steven really cares about you and stuff. But… I’m going to take a break from all of this until I’m ready to forgive you. The other Amethysts want to do something with the old kindergarten, I don’t know when I’ll be back…”

Rose felt no less upset by how much she hurt Amethyst, but she was happy to see her willing to forgive her, even if it meant she had to wait, “I love you, Amethyst, and I hope in the future I can make this better.” Rose said, “I can’t live with myself knowing the people I love hate me.”

Without a word, Amethyst left, her form disappearing within the warp pad. Garnet turned to face Rose, as the later feared what she would have to say. “I suppose I’ve made enough of a fool of myself, I’m sorry to trouble you all…” 

Steven finally felt the need to chime in, “Mom, it’s ok that you wanted to be here with me, there are times where I wish that too. But you really made everyone upset about the other night, me and Amethyst especially. I know I shouldn’t have yelled like that. I just thought that you would never do something like this. I just felt… disappointed in you.” 

Pearl at last had freed herself of the hold she had over herself, “Rose, I can tell that what you did was something you did out of your love for Steven. I can understand how you felt when you were watching him. We all love and care about him. We knew you wanted to be here. But when we knew that was impossible, we never thought any less of you. It’s not as though you had any control over this. I’ll admit that your return has been something of a…transition… but if there is one thing we can handle by now, its change.”

Garnet’s expression remained static, “But this is still a huge violation of our trust, even if what you did was involuntary, you still took advantage of the situation. And in the future, you need to understand how your actions affect others. Despite what you may think, we want you in this family too. But if you want to continue to be a part of it, you need to earn back our trust.” Garnet removed her visor, her expression changing to that of concern.

Rose sighed, “I understand, I just wish I could do something to help make this right. Believe me, I feel terrible about all of this.”

Steven spoke up once more, “I’m afraid there isn’t really much you can do, Mom, Amethyst knows why you did it, and she can’t stay mad forever, but she’s still right to be upset over it.”

“Then… what do we do now?” Rose asked.

“We just… admit our mistakes and try to be better.” Steven solemnly stated. Rose knew he was right, but she still felt a sinking feeling in her chest, as she spoke up once more, “Steven… be honest with me. Am I… a bad mother?”

“No.” Steven said abruptly, “Mom, we all make mistakes, and you’ve really made strides, Connie’s family, the Diamonds, you’ve shown that you really want to try and make things right between us. You’re a part of me, I just want you to be more careful.” Rose chuckled softly as she wiped her eyes, “How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful son?”

Connie at last spoke up, “Hey, I don’t have anything going on this weekend, would it be ok if I stay here? You know… in case something happens to you while the others are busy. I’m sure Rose will feel better knowing there’ll be someone to keep an eye on you.”

“Oh… well, if you would like to, Connie. I’d appreciate that.” Steven said, trying not to sound completely flustered. Rose giggled as she saw his face turn as red. “Oh, that’s splendid idea!” chimed Pearl, “After all, you have sword fighting practice at noon tomorrow, and I’m sure Rose would love to see what brave knights you’ve both become!”

“That would be lovely, Pearl. But I’m not sure how welcome I’ll be when Amethyst returns…” Rose said solemnly. “Amethyst will forgive you in time, once her anger subsides, as long as she is willing to forgive you and you’re willing to admit fault, things will improve. Trust me, she just needs time.” Garnet reassured. 

Rose smiled, “Thank you Garnet. I… suppose I should speak with Greg about what happened later.” Steven turned to face his mother, “I should be there to talk to him as well, we’re a family, and we should all talk to him about it.” Rose nodded, “Alright, Steven, if you feel you should.” 

The day seemed to fly by as the other Gems departed, Connie had called her parents to inform them she would spend the night at Steven’s home. Once again, Rose watched as her son slept, unable to interact with him, Connie taking respite beside him. She still felt the desire to be there for him, but tried her best to make peace with what she had. ‘At least I can be there for him’. She told herself, as she turned to face her son, “I wish I could do more than just tell you how much you mean to me.”

The house was quite, the only noise being the silent crashing of ocean waves outside and the gentle snoring of the home’s occupants. Rose sat by Steven’s bedside, hoping her mere presence would be enough to protect through the night.


End file.
